New Beginnings

So it's 2014 here....and I've been thinking (uh-oh)

You know that bitter-sweet feeling you get when you say goodbye to the old year and greet the new? I just realized that it's not because of the memories you're leaving behind, because you take those with you.
No, it's because the old year is safe, you've lived through it, survived it. No matter how hard it got, you're still here, still breathing and still able to smile.
The new year is a mystery, you don't know what's going to happen, and that's why it's bitter-sweet. It's exciting, another year, more adventures, new people, yet there's that element of uncertainty that haunts this excitement. No-one knows if they're going to leave the new year alive. No-one knows who or what they're going to lose, what might happen to them in this year we're welcoming. Yet, you're still excited, and that is the true optimism that hides inside every human being on this planet. The fact that you're excited for something that might end so badly, that we still have enough hope to celebrate the coming of a new year.

I wish you all the best in this new year, and may we all keep hoping.

My New Year's resolution 2014!

We've all had new year's resolutions that have failed:

• Lose weight (but that burger looks so good)
• Get more exercise (but I'm so tired/sick/busy)
• Spend more time with friends/family
• etc.

My problem is that I'm always trying to do those stuff, but I don't do it for myself, I do it for other people. Whether it's to impress them, make them happy, or just to get them to like me I very rarely think of how I would feel if I lost a little weight or spent more time with the people I love.

So...this year I'm still going to try to accomplish above mentioned feats, but I'm not doing it for anyone else. I'm doing it for me.

My New Year's resolution is: To just be myself, to take care of myself and to make myself happy. Now I'm not saying I'm going to become a completely self-centered person, because that's not who I am. It makes me happy to help other people, to be nice to them and to be kind. I just don't want to live for other peoples' approval anymore, because I'm never going to get it until I approve of myself.

2014 is going to be my year. In the last 2 years I've learned a lot about myself, some good things, some not, but I know myself well enough now that I feel like I could take this challenge and accomplish everything I want to.

If you want a nice idea for the new year here's one: Get a notebook, and as the year progresses write down every good thing (doesn't matter how small) that happens to you, when the year ends you'll be able to look back and think 'this was a great year!' It would also be good if you try to write down something good every day. It'll force you to think of something positive about every day, no matter how bad it might have been.

Psychoanalyzing myself...

I had an epiphany the other day. I was thinking about something I posted a while back, when I started this blog, the one where I wondered whether some people think more than others etc. While I was thinking about this I realized something. I don't JUST over think everything I'm about to say or do, but I continue to think about it after I said or did it. Basically I'm psychoanalyzing my own actions...

I don't think I over analyze other people's motivations and stuff. Sure I wonder about why they do and say certain things, but I won't break my back trying to figure it out.

My own motivations, however, is a whole different story. I think I know myself better than most people know themselves, because I tend to question my own actions, and even thoughts. If a strange thought pops into my head I will try my best to figure out where it came from, and I'll probably spend more time on it than most people would...In short, I'm constantly trying to figure myself out...and it's a work in progress...

I think this is why I feel like I'm thinking more than other people...I think it's because I question everything I do, feel, say or think...

I have yet to figure out why I feel the need to psychoanalyze myself, but if I have another epiphany I will let you know.

Hating

Hating on celebrities has become almost like a sport. Everyone is trying to outdo the other by leaving the most hateful comments on a social network. Now I'm not judging, because I know I've done it too. But when you think about why you do it you realize it makes you kind of pathetic. The main reason people like seeing famous people mess up is because it makes them...or us, feel better about ourselves. We feel 'well at least I'm not as bad as so and so...'.

When someone in the music business, whos music I really like, does something really stupid (or even more than one thing) it doesn't have any impact on the quality of the music. If I like a song by a person I really don't like, then I'm going to listen to it. Bad/annoying/stupid people can in fact make good music, so what do I care what they're doing? If it's a good song then what does it matter what the person singing is doing in their PERSONAL lives?

I feel like movie actors/actresses get a lot less hate than say musicians or TV actors. I don't really understand why this is....But just because someone who plays in my favorite movie does something I don't like, it's not going to make we hate the movie.

Also, I try my very best to ignore what a person did and focus on the why they did it. If they have a good reason, or even a bad reason, then how can we blame them? I don't like the way people place celebrities on pedestals and expect them to do everything right, they're only human, they also make mistakes. Some more than others, but still. I know this post isn't going to make people stop hating, but I just wanted to get my opinion out there.

Don't hate the player people, hate the cheating ;)

How I handle problems...or how I should...

When something goes wrong in my life I tend to go into denial, or at least, that's what it may look like. I would pretend everything is wonderful, I'm just great and I don't have a care in the world. And I'm good at acting like that, but inside I would constantly be dwelling and worrying about this thing, whatever it may be.

I have now come up with a solution on how to gain perspective and sort your problems into order of importance.

When you have a problem, or multiple problems, think about how you're going to look at it in 5 years time. Are you still going to think about it, are you going to laugh about it, are you going to regret something? If you have to you could write it down, this shows you which of your problems (if there's more than one) are more important, if they're important at all, and you should be able to decide which ones to face first, and so work your way through them in order of importance.

I will be trying to do this every time I start worrying about something. I think it would be a great way to ease your stress if you think about how small or stupid this problem might seem in a couple of years.

So don't worry, be happy, and keep smiling!

My poem: Light

This is a poem I wrote a while back. While I titled it 'Light', because that's what it seems to be about, the title could also have read 'Faith' since that is what it's really about. Either way, I don't care how other people interpret it. But for me, it's about how having Faith changed my outlook on life, and influenced my thinking for the better.

Light

Indefinable

Untouchable

Unquestionable

Loving, Dancing, Laughing

into the darkened corners

of my mind

Illuminating

Eliminating

Eradicating

Lies, Doubts, Fears

I’ve collected

As my life passed by

Irrevocable

Unchangeable

Unquenchable

Filling me up.

Pouring, overflowing

from my eyes

Opening

Realizing

Knowing

My blindness,

gone

I see.

Life is Beautiful

I just finished watching 'Perks of being a Wallflower' for the third or fourth time, and I've realised what makes me love this movie so much. It's the way it shows how beautiful life is, even in those dark times when we feel lost or sad, or depressed, there's beauty in the feeling.

The greatest music is inspired by those times. People find themselves in the times when they feel like they've lost everything else. Our lives are shaped by those times that we feel most insecure and overwhelmed.

Life is beautiful, every second of it. And I believe that once we realise that, and start seeing the beauty in every moment, feeling and experience we have, our lives would be infinitely better. We're alive, and that's beautiful...

Weaknesses and Meanesses

‘So throughout our life, our worst weaknesses and meannesses are usually committed for the sake of the people we most despise.’

I’m currently reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, and I read this sentence, and i thought: this is so true. So I just had to write down my thoughts on it...

We’re usually the worst version of ourselves when we’re around people we dislike. We tend to get overly dramatic and we hurt the people we do like, just to ‘show them’ that they can’t get to us. And yet, that’s exactly what we let them do: get to us. We try to act all tough and uncaring, but in the end, the people for who's benefit we do that don't even notice.

It’s also true that  we try extra hard to impress the people we don’t like. Isn’t that strange? Aren’t we supposed not to care what they think? We don’t care about them, so why do we care what their opinion is of us? And yet, we dress our best, act more confident, try to be someone we’re not, just for the sake of those people that we don’t like.

I tend to do this quite a lot, and in my case I think it’s about the fact that the people I don’t like make me feel uncomfortable, maybe even inadequate, and so I try to make myself better. The thing is, it doesn’t really work. You’re still not going to like them, so why even bother? Most probably they don’t even notice how you’re acting, or dressing, so I’m going to try to be myself, even around the people I dislike.

Blogging...

So, this blog has been without posts for almost...I don't know...a year?

But, lately I've had this urge to write...and so I thought, why not just continue with the blog I already have? If nobody reads it, then thats no more or less than the number of people currently reading what I'm writing, so I've got nothing to lose.

I'm just going to blog random stuff, maybe some poems, my thoughts, what I do...whatever...when I feel like it. I'm not going to be pressuring myself into writing. It doesn't work.

So this is me...being a blogger...sort of...

Thinking about thinking...

I know it's been way too long. So here it is:

Yesterday I was thinking, wondering actually if some people think more than others. I mean conscious thinking, not subconsciously. I sometimes feel like I'm permanently thinking, too much. So I was thinking about this and I wondered whether normal people ever think about what they think? I do that sometimes. I think 'Why did I think this?' Or I argue with myself in a way. So I was wondering if that was normal and then I wondered if it was normal to wonder if it was normal...or to even be thinking about it...is that normal?

I'm so weird...
Haha ttyl peoples!