How to measure a life.

There's been many songs and poems and quotes etc about how you shouldn't measure your life in hours or days or years but in the amount of time you spent laughing etc.
But I don't think that's exactly right. I think you should measure your life, not in time, but in experiences. Not just the good ones, because nobody has just good experiences in their life, but the bad ones as well.
Don't just count the times you laughed, count the times you cried as well.
That is what life is in my opinion, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the gains and the losses and when you put them all together just make sure it's a beautiful picture. Like I've said before there's beauty in sadness. Just make sure there's something, because nothingness has never been beautiful.

Judging people by their actions.

So many times we'll say 'don't judge a book by it's cover', and we'll feel really good about ourselves for saying it, because it's right and it's what good people say...right? And it's all very well, judging people by their appearance has never been intelligent nor has there ever been a legitimate reason for it, but how often do judge people by what they do?
So often we base our opinions of people solely on what they do. This is probably why we tend to start conversations with strangers with question like: 'What do you do?' 'In what line of work are you?' etc. instead of asking them about who they are.
Think about your closest friends...what makes them your friends? Is it because they do things that are interesting. Is it because they do 'good things'? Most of the time this might have an influence, but it's never the real reason. It's always because you feel something for that person, whether it's love, trust, acceptance, whatever. Human relationships are based on emotion, and yet we're always trying to hide that emotion behind this wall of mere actions and reactions.
How many times have we heard/said 'he's a bad person', 'she's no use', 'they're evil'? How many of those times did we stop to think about the reasons behind the accusations. How many of those accusations were based on ignorance or even jealousy or another emotion? Most of these stem from what we see other people do, but we never ask 'why', we never stop and wonder about the person behind the actions.
I despise it when people assume things about other people, when they really don't know what the story behind it is. Yes, some people do 'bad things' just for a laugh or a kick or because they're insane. But my personal opinion is that no person is born bad, and that no person every becomes completely evil, no matter what they might be doing.
And I guess that's the point I'm trying to make, if we stopped judging people by what they do and try to look at the reasons behind it I think there would be less hate in the world and more understanding. We would stop assuming we are always right, and question ourselves and our own motivations and thoughts a bit. After all, the only way to change the world is to start with yourself...as Michael Jackson said: 'start with the man in the mirror'.
Ps. I will never condone people harming themselves or someone else, but I think the only solution to this kind of behaviour is finding the reason behind it.

New Beginnings

So it's 2014 here....and I've been thinking (uh-oh)

You know that bitter-sweet feeling you get when you say goodbye to the old year and greet the new? I just realized that it's not because of the memories you're leaving behind, because you take those with you.
No, it's because the old year is safe, you've lived through it, survived it. No matter how hard it got, you're still here, still breathing and still able to smile.
The new year is a mystery, you don't know what's going to happen, and that's why it's bitter-sweet. It's exciting, another year, more adventures, new people, yet there's that element of uncertainty that haunts this excitement. No-one knows if they're going to leave the new year alive. No-one knows who or what they're going to lose, what might happen to them in this year we're welcoming. Yet, you're still excited, and that is the true optimism that hides inside every human being on this planet. The fact that you're excited for something that might end so badly, that we still have enough hope to celebrate the coming of a new year.

I wish you all the best in this new year, and may we all keep hoping.

My New Year's resolution 2014!

We've all had new year's resolutions that have failed:

• Lose weight (but that burger looks so good)
• Get more exercise (but I'm so tired/sick/busy)
• Spend more time with friends/family
• etc.

My problem is that I'm always trying to do those stuff, but I don't do it for myself, I do it for other people. Whether it's to impress them, make them happy, or just to get them to like me I very rarely think of how I would feel if I lost a little weight or spent more time with the people I love.

So...this year I'm still going to try to accomplish above mentioned feats, but I'm not doing it for anyone else. I'm doing it for me.

My New Year's resolution is: To just be myself, to take care of myself and to make myself happy. Now I'm not saying I'm going to become a completely self-centered person, because that's not who I am. It makes me happy to help other people, to be nice to them and to be kind. I just don't want to live for other peoples' approval anymore, because I'm never going to get it until I approve of myself.

2014 is going to be my year. In the last 2 years I've learned a lot about myself, some good things, some not, but I know myself well enough now that I feel like I could take this challenge and accomplish everything I want to.

If you want a nice idea for the new year here's one: Get a notebook, and as the year progresses write down every good thing (doesn't matter how small) that happens to you, when the year ends you'll be able to look back and think 'this was a great year!' It would also be good if you try to write down something good every day. It'll force you to think of something positive about every day, no matter how bad it might have been.

Hating

Hating on celebrities has become almost like a sport. Everyone is trying to outdo the other by leaving the most hateful comments on a social network. Now I'm not judging, because I know I've done it too. But when you think about why you do it you realize it makes you kind of pathetic. The main reason people like seeing famous people mess up is because it makes them...or us, feel better about ourselves. We feel 'well at least I'm not as bad as so and so...'.

When someone in the music business, whos music I really like, does something really stupid (or even more than one thing) it doesn't have any impact on the quality of the music. If I like a song by a person I really don't like, then I'm going to listen to it. Bad/annoying/stupid people can in fact make good music, so what do I care what they're doing? If it's a good song then what does it matter what the person singing is doing in their PERSONAL lives?

I feel like movie actors/actresses get a lot less hate than say musicians or TV actors. I don't really understand why this is....But just because someone who plays in my favorite movie does something I don't like, it's not going to make we hate the movie.

Also, I try my very best to ignore what a person did and focus on the why they did it. If they have a good reason, or even a bad reason, then how can we blame them? I don't like the way people place celebrities on pedestals and expect them to do everything right, they're only human, they also make mistakes. Some more than others, but still. I know this post isn't going to make people stop hating, but I just wanted to get my opinion out there.

Don't hate the player people, hate the cheating ;)

How I handle problems...or how I should...

When something goes wrong in my life I tend to go into denial, or at least, that's what it may look like. I would pretend everything is wonderful, I'm just great and I don't have a care in the world. And I'm good at acting like that, but inside I would constantly be dwelling and worrying about this thing, whatever it may be.

I have now come up with a solution on how to gain perspective and sort your problems into order of importance.

When you have a problem, or multiple problems, think about how you're going to look at it in 5 years time. Are you still going to think about it, are you going to laugh about it, are you going to regret something? If you have to you could write it down, this shows you which of your problems (if there's more than one) are more important, if they're important at all, and you should be able to decide which ones to face first, and so work your way through them in order of importance.

I will be trying to do this every time I start worrying about something. I think it would be a great way to ease your stress if you think about how small or stupid this problem might seem in a couple of years.

So don't worry, be happy, and keep smiling!

My poem: Light

This is a poem I wrote a while back. While I titled it 'Light', because that's what it seems to be about, the title could also have read 'Faith' since that is what it's really about. Either way, I don't care how other people interpret it. But for me, it's about how having Faith changed my outlook on life, and influenced my thinking for the better.

Light

Indefinable

Untouchable

Unquestionable

Loving, Dancing, Laughing

into the darkened corners

of my mind

Illuminating

Eliminating

Eradicating

Lies, Doubts, Fears

I’ve collected

As my life passed by

Irrevocable

Unchangeable

Unquenchable

Filling me up.

Pouring, overflowing

from my eyes

Opening

Realizing

Knowing

My blindness,

gone

I see.

Life is Beautiful

I just finished watching 'Perks of being a Wallflower' for the third or fourth time, and I've realised what makes me love this movie so much. It's the way it shows how beautiful life is, even in those dark times when we feel lost or sad, or depressed, there's beauty in the feeling.

The greatest music is inspired by those times. People find themselves in the times when they feel like they've lost everything else. Our lives are shaped by those times that we feel most insecure and overwhelmed.

Life is beautiful, every second of it. And I believe that once we realise that, and start seeing the beauty in every moment, feeling and experience we have, our lives would be infinitely better. We're alive, and that's beautiful...

Weaknesses and Meanesses

‘So throughout our life, our worst weaknesses and meannesses are usually committed for the sake of the people we most despise.’

I’m currently reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, and I read this sentence, and i thought: this is so true. So I just had to write down my thoughts on it...

We’re usually the worst version of ourselves when we’re around people we dislike. We tend to get overly dramatic and we hurt the people we do like, just to ‘show them’ that they can’t get to us. And yet, that’s exactly what we let them do: get to us. We try to act all tough and uncaring, but in the end, the people for who's benefit we do that don't even notice.

It’s also true that  we try extra hard to impress the people we don’t like. Isn’t that strange? Aren’t we supposed not to care what they think? We don’t care about them, so why do we care what their opinion is of us? And yet, we dress our best, act more confident, try to be someone we’re not, just for the sake of those people that we don’t like.

I tend to do this quite a lot, and in my case I think it’s about the fact that the people I don’t like make me feel uncomfortable, maybe even inadequate, and so I try to make myself better. The thing is, it doesn’t really work. You’re still not going to like them, so why even bother? Most probably they don’t even notice how you’re acting, or dressing, so I’m going to try to be myself, even around the people I dislike.